I Should Have Been A Mermaid.

I went to the beach with thousands of dollars of gear and took this with my cellphone. #fail

If someone asked me if I was happy with my life right now, I would probably answer yes. 

Less being unemployed, I can't complain too much lately. 

But we all have those negative days where you would rather mope around like a whiny asshole than commit to being happy for the day. 

I had one of those days this week. 

I was just angry about everything.

I have no job and it's starting the grate on my patience and my confidence in my employability. 

Feel free to check in with Tracey. I was just miserable. 

So to make me feel better, she suggested I take some photos of her and Jordan instead of just going to the beach to sulk like the whiny asshole I wanted so desperately to be on Friday. 

I did. 

I packed my gear up. And I was miserable. 

I put some clothes on. And I was miserable. 

I got in the car. My A/C is still not working right. And I was miserable. 

I turned out of the driveway still inexplicably miserable and I made my way down my street. 

I turned the music up. I was listening to angry 90's Alanis, if you must know. She is still the best Alanis. Happy hippie Alanis does nothing to dissipate inexplicable rage. 

As I got closer to the lake, my misery started to fade. 

There's something about the breeze that comes off the lake that is completely satisfying. My misery faded as I thought about how I was a few short minutes from my toes in the sand. 

About half way through my drive I even.... shudder.... swapped angry Alanis for happy hippie Alanis. 

By the time I pulled into Port Stanley, I was almost not miserable. 

I laid a blanket down, ate some grapes that were later traumatized by a firetruck, and I read a book. 

I took some photos of my beloved friends, ate some dinner, almost moved to a 4 million dollar boat with a man who presumably owns the pizza shop, and then returned to my book until the sun disappeared behind the shoreline. 

I stayed a while longer and took in the sights, smells, and sounds of the lake. 

And I wasn't miserable. 

Just like that I no longer wanted to be a whiny asshole. 

I was glad to have taken some gorgeous photos of some gorgeous people. 

I was glad to have eaten a pretty fantastic burger with those same gorgeous people. 

I was glad to have taken the time to watch the sun disappear. 

I was glad to have packed up my misery and left it somewhere between the house and the beach. 

I can't tell you why the beach heals my soul, but it does every single time. Some people aren't meant to be land-locked. I am one of them. If I could feasibly live on the beach, I would without hesitation. I never feel far from home when I am near the water. That's what I love best about it. It feels like I belong there. Any body of water will do, really, as long as it has that gentle sound of waves slapping the shore. 

I was probably meant to be a mermaid – I mean, my thighs already touch so I'm halfway there... May as well commit and get myself a seashell bra. 

If you're looking for me in the next few months, just check the beach. 

Given my unemployed status, it seems like the best way to spend my free time is training for my future as a mermaid. 

xo